For the first time in my life I attended an exclusive, by invitation, fashion premier. OK, well everyone who buys from Despair Inc. got invited and, anyone who typed in despair.com today after 9:00AM CST got to see the premier so, I guess I’m not too special.
I’ve been a big fan of the Demotivators series of products from Despair for the past few years, how could you not love a company that has this, :-(, for a logo. Their customer disservice motto of “We’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied” clearly shows how they care for you.
Now that they’ve introduced the DespairWear clothing line you can share their hilarious messages where ever you go. I like everything in this first round of introductions and as they promised in my invitation,
With new clothing items added EVERY WEDNESDAY until the Apocalypse*.
*After that, well, you’ll just have to shop elsewhere, ‘cuz we ain’t down for that mandatory Mark of the Beast thingie… It’s not gonna be retailer-friendly… Not in the slightest.
Wednesdays have just gotten a lot more fun!
After you check out the latest fashions try your hand at creating a personal Demotivator in the D.I.Y. section. Here’s my attempt:
Image is from CICLOPS: Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for OPerationS with me adding the arrow and text. The original image was chosen as Number One Astronomy Picture of 2006 by BadAstronomer Phil Plait.
A new exclusive mailing I received, OK, OK, it’s just marketing info that goes to anyone who wants it, has expanded on the Apocalypse comment:
*Yes, we’re serious… Offer not valid if:
the economy completely collapses under the weight of its sheer unsustainability… (Don’t think it can’t happen- the US Government is spending money every bit as irresponsibly as YOU are, and on a whole lot of stupid junk every bit as non-substantive as the products that are our lifeblood…)
Despair goes bankrupt… Which won’t happen AS LONG AS YOU KEEP BUYING OUR VALUABLE WARES! We’re a team, remember?
The Apocalypse starts…**.
** What, didn’t you ever go to Church? You don’t even know what to look for? Well, if you see a prophet bringing fire down out of the skies in the full view of men who encourages you to worship a messianic figure from whom he derives power… THAT’s a good sign that we’re not going to be selling any more DespairWear. If that messianic figure tries to enforce a cashless society where no person can buy or sell stuff who doesn’t take a mark on their right hand or forehead- you better start shopping at Hot Topic for your novelty t-shirt needs. ‘Cuz for real, we’re heading to a non-disclosed and heavily fortified location at that point. Yes there are other signs but jeez, I’m just a marketing lackey trying to finish an email newsletter… Can’t you crack a Bible or something?